Dear fellow mothers, Have you ever sensed that your child is holding something back? That despite your efforts, there’s a barrier preventing them from opening up to you? I want to share a personal story that might resonate with many of you and shed light on a vital aspect of parenting – building a bridge of trust and understanding. In the whirlwind of school, grades, and societal pressures, my daughter found herself struggling. Like many young souls, she faced the daunting task of proving her worth through academic achievements. As she approached a math test, her anxiety surged, casting a shadow over her confidence. I knew her fears all too well, and I stood by her side, combatting those negative thoughts and patterns that held her back. One day, after a particularly challenging exam, I noticed a change in her demeanour. She withdrew into herself, shutting out the world around her. I tried to breach the barrier, but her reluctance persisted. It was a heart-wrenching moment, and I made a decision that led to an unexpected revelation. The mere mention of speaking to her teacher triggered an intense reaction. She pleaded for me to reconsider, and that was the turning point. Why such an extreme response? This question gnawed at me, urging me to dig deeper. I decided to give her space, provided she would share her truth with me. What followed was a flood of tears and a confession that shattered my heart. My daughter, my brave and strong girl, had been subjected to humiliation. The seating arrangement in her class was reorganized based on test scores, casting her to the back like a shadow. The weight of this public demotion bore heavily on her young shoulders, casting a shadow over her school experience. My intervention and unwavering support paved the way for an open dialogue. She shared her fears of judgment, afraid that my reaction would mirror the teacher’s. It was a powerful lesson for me, one that made me realize the impact of my actions and reactions on her perception of trust and communication. From that moment, I embarked on a journey of transformation. I vowed to create a safe haven for my daughter, a space where her voice would be heard, and her thoughts respected. As mothers, we often find ourselves imparting wisdom and correcting behaviour. But what if, at times, our children seek not judgment, but a listening ear? Dear mothers, let us cast aside the role of the judge and embrace that of the confidante. Let’s pause and reflect: When was the last time our child confided in us, only to be met with lectures and lessons? Our children need us to stand by their side, to champion their emotions and experiences, rather than imposing our preconceived notions upon them. The lesson I learned is clear: it’s not just about loving our children, but about understanding and listening to them. Let’s dismantle the walls of doubt and disbelief, letting our children flourish in their own unique worlds. By relinquishing judgment, coercive tactics, and unrealistic expectations, we can pave the way for a relationship that can weather any storm. So, fellow mothers, let’s make a pact. Let’s be the steadfast pillars of support that our children need. Let’s build bonds of trust that empower them to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and confidence. Remember, a simple act of listening can ignite a world of change. As we journey through the highs and lows of motherhood, let’s stand united and embrace the lessons that life unfolds before us. Share your stories, your triumphs, and your revelations. Together, we can create an environment where our children not only thrive academically but also emotionally, secure in the knowledge that they are cherished, understood, and supported. Let us share our time, love and empathy and let our children grow to their full potential.
A Conversation Between Grief and Happiness
One day over a cup of coffee grief came and sat next to me and said, “Hey how are you? Can you feel my presence? I am there to stay!” “OK, Sure,” I said with a sigh. “You can stay as long as you want as you have always been my best friend.” “Really, mocked happiness who has recently become my friend. Well, the two of my friends over a period of time have now become close contestants to the point wherein I had to choose between the two!! Consider this. Grief has taken me to all those dark places where no one would ever imagine. But happiness came and at a very challenging time that helped me face the situation with resilience and positivity. This huge conflict of emotions, made me come to a juncture where I would not want to feel intimated or inhibited by either of my ‘dear’ friends. Reason was very clear, I felt so comfortable talking to grief that happiness took a toll on me most of the times. “Stay on”… came the message from grief. But soon happiness took over and said, “move out because I need some space to interact with my friend.” “Hell, you know humankind is obsessed with grief, they love me, and shield my very existence”, blurted grief. The conflict came to such a hilt that I had to decide between either of my friends. And to the dismay of grief, I chose my new friend HAPPINESS. Disappointed over my decision, grief said, “I introduced you to your feelings first.” Surprised over this, happiness said, “This is where you finish.” Self opiniated grief said, “I lead the path.” Happiness said, “but I am the destination.” Grief said, “I will always be your shadow.” Happiness blurted, ” Your shadow ends where I bring sunshine.” This brawl was pissing me off as grief crawled over my shoulder and said, “I may be creepy, but I last a lifetime.” Happiness smiled and said, “Nothing lasts a lifetime, including life. What on earth are you talking about. You may follow me, but I will destroy you with my light as you reside in darkness.” This is the state of all humans, wherein each day is a struggle between grief and happiness in our mind. We all go through this struggle every day, live with it, rich or poor, privileged or underprivileged, whatever the age or gender! Each time we decide to befriend any one of them, makes us or breaks us in the most spectacular manner we choose it to be. So, friends, this is a choice that you have to make as both and happiness will extend their hands to connect with you. You have only one life- Be grateful or regretful. It’s your choice that will your life worthwhile or worthlessness. I chose happiness, and grief keeps asking me every now and then for old times’ sake, “when do we meet again.” Be very clear about what choices you make in life, cause what you choose becomes your belief, your belief becomes your action and that action carves your path to your ultimate destination. So, CONTROL, ALT, DELETE all negative emotions before you upload some positive, sincere and transparent emotions. In this life or next, grief and happiness would always be there to shake hands with you. The life is yours, the decision you make will make your life the way you want it to be. SO LIVE TO DIE ONLY FOR HAPPINESS…
Redefining Parental Approach
Motherhood presents us with an intricate puzzle: our children often seem to operate on a different wavelength, not always in sync with our guidance. And let’s not even start about the endless messes they create! This prompts a heartfelt question: Why should they listen to us, the seasoned advice-givers? As mothers, we’ve accumulated a treasure trove of life lessons—lessons that could potentially shield our children from needless struggles. Naturally, we yearn for them to step onto a path illuminated with happiness and accomplishment, should they choose to follow our lead. But does this approach always hold true? While our well of wisdom is deep, it might be worth considering a more cooperative approach. Instead of laying down the law, imagine engaging them in candid conversations. Visualize sitting down with them to discuss the potential outcomes of their choices—the highs and lows—and then allowing them the space to decide, fully aware of the consequences. This requires not just addressing their concerns, but giving explanations that resonate with their unique perspectives. At times, we might interpret their resistance as rebellion, even disrespect. Could it be less about defiance and more about how we communicate? When our attempts at persuasion fall short, we resort to consequences or distancing ourselves might reflect our own struggles in understanding the complex landscape of parenthood. Instead, picture a scenario where we lend an attentive ear, validate their viewpoints, and collaborate to uncover solutions. Our craving for order and tidiness is undeniable, but there’s a certain order in the chaos too. Think about the dirty, yet inspiring workspaces of Einstein and Zuckerberg. Despite their disorder, those spaces nurtured groundbreaking ideas that left an indelible mark on history. Similarly, our children’s spaces might not match our pristine vision of order. These brilliant minds prove that creativity can flourish amidst apparent disorder. As we tread the path of equilibrium, it’s vital to scrutinize whether our expectations align with our children’s dreams. Are we imposing our desires, driven by our own fears? The desire for them to conform might not always harmonize with their unique aspirations. Remember, our role extends beyond guiding; it’s about empowering them to make confident choices and creating independence. Our journey as mothers is that of harmony. We must blend our maternal insights with an open canvas for them to paint their stories. This journey demands patience, attentive listening, adaptability, and above all, a foundation of open communication. Through this approach, we empower our children to chart their own routes to success, all while enveloped in the cocoon of our unwavering support. It’s about nurturing conversations, embracing their individuality, and cultivating holistic growth—all while evolving alongside them. Just as Einstein and Zuckerberg showed us, unconventional paths can lead to remarkable accomplishments, provided we find the delicate balance between guidance and autonomy. I WOULD INVITE YOU TO EXPRESS YOUR VIEWS ON THIS
